their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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