Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
