i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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