Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
