In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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