They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
