Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize