He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
