so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
