i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You are the jesus of drinking
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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