Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry killer06 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.

Fav 5 1052 3975
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

Fav 13 3396 1144
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.

Fav 5 2207 1299
share tweet
(585): View more from New York

if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.

Fav 8 2455 1152
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.

Fav 7 2852 887
share tweet
(423): View more from Tennessee

Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?

(707): View more from California

...did you eat that brownie?

Fav 2 2643 784
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.

Fav 3 635 1158
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.

Fav 0 51 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.

Fav 0 66 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT