Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
