Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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