Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize