I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
