Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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