Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
