Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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