yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
