i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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