I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize