it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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