Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
