my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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