My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize