Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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