I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
