This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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