I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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