so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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