I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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