so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
