a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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