That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
