You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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