MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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