So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
