It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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