I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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