Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
