Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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