ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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