I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
