every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
