then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
