The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
