she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
