Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
