You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
one might say we're banned from that church
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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