please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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