I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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