remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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