Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
