Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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