he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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