How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The ass gains better be worth it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
