her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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