Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
