Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she looked like the before picture.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
