Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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