i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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