Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
