Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
