i just wanna soil my oats bro
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize